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The 5th Annual Shaking Through Grover Awards
Other Grover Awards:
2006
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2005
| 2004 |
2003 |
2002
Read
our post-Oscar reaction to the evening's
events.
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Posted:
February 23,
2006
By
Laurence Station
Does the Academy have the cajones to lavish Oscar gold on a
gay-themed picture? Absolutely. Brokeback Mountain has proven to
be a financial and critical horse with staying power. The lame,
P.C.-baiting Crash might crash (sorry) the Brokeback party
but it just doesn't have the buzz to overcome Ang Lee's handsomely
mounted film.
Brokeback also dominates the 5th annual Grovers, though we
really enjoyed Good Night, and Good Luck.
Listed below are the Oscar nominees, with our favored pick (who
should win) in bold text alongside the accompanying image. The
actual Oscar prediction (who will win) follows. Official winners
are highlighted in
red. |
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Best Picture |
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Best
Director |
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Brokeback
Mountain |
- Capote
- Crash
- Good Night, and Good Luck
- Munich
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Ang Lee,
Brokeback Mountain |
- Paul Haggis, Crash
- George Clooney, Good Night,
and Good Luck
- Bennett Miller, Capote
- Steven Spielberg, Munich
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Who Will Win:
Brokeback Mountain |
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Who Will Win: Ang Lee, Brokeback
Mountain |
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Why: Crash might pull the
upset, but the momentum is with Lee's profitable and highly lauded film. |
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Why: The consensus is that this is
Lee's time, and he's arrived in Oscartown riding the winning
thoroughbred. |
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Best
Actor |
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Best
Actress |
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Philip
Seymour Hoffman, Capote |
- Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow
- Heath Ledger, Brokeback
Mountain
- Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line
- David Strathairn, Good Night,
And Good Luck
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Keira
Knightley, Pride & Prejudice |
- Judi Dench, Mrs. Henderson
Presents
- Felicity Huffman, Transamerica
- Charlize Theron, North Country
- Reese Witherspoon, Walk the
Line
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Who Will Win: Philip Seymour
Hoffman, Capote |
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Who Will Win: Reese Witherspoon,
Walk the Line |
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Why: Ledger doesn't have Hoffman's
stellar track record, and the latter's performance is one of those
astonishing "disappearing into character" acts voters so admire. |
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Why: Witherspoon is adorable and
well-liked, and there's no real slam-dunk obvious choice in the group. |
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Best
Supporting Actor |
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Best
Supporting Actress |
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Jake
Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain |
- George Clooney, Syriana
- Matt Dillon, Crash
- Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man
- William Hurt, A History of
Violence
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Amy Adams,
Junebug |
- Catherine Keener, Capote
- Frances McDormand, North
Country
- Rachel Weisz, The Constant
Gardener
- Michelle Williams, Brokeback
Mountain
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Who Will Win: Matt Dillon, Crash |
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Who Will Win: Rachel Weisz, The
Constant Gardener |
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Why: George Clooney's best shot for
Oscar gold lies in this category, but Oscar voters really want to reward
Crash, and Dillon was by far the best part of that horrible film. |
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Why: The wonderful Adams'
nomination is a "foot in the door" announcement. As with Best Actress,
this is a lackluster group, with the talented Weisz taking the gold.
Possible upset: Michelle Williams. |
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Best
Screenplay (Original) |
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Best
Screenplay (Adaptation) |
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The Squid
and The Whale (Noah
Baumbach) |
- Crash (Paul Haggis, Robert
Moresco)
- Good Night, and Good Luck
(Grant Heslov, George Clooney)
- Match Point (Woody Allen)
- Syriana (Stephen Gaghan)
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Brokeback
Mountain (Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana) |
- Capote (Dan Futterman)
- The Constant Gardener (Jeffrey
Caine)
- A History of Violence (Josh
Olson)
- Munich (Tony Kushner, Eric
Roth)
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Who Will Win: Crash |
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Who Will Win: Brokeback Mountain |
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Why: Obligatory consolation gold
goes to the weakest of the five nominated scripts. |
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Why: If it's Brokeback's
night, this one will fall in line with the other trophies. |
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Cinematography |
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Film
Editing |
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Brokeback
Mountain (Rodrigo Prieto) |
- Batman Begins (Wally Pfister)
- Good Night, And Good Luck
(Robert Elswit)
- Memoirs Of A Geisha (Dion
Beebe)
- The New World (Emmanuel
Lubezki)
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Cinderella
Man (Mike Hill and Dan Hanley) |
- The Constant Gardener (Claire
Simpson)
- Crash (Hughes Winborne)
- Munich (Michael Kahn)
- Walk the Line (Michael
McCusker)
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Who Will Win: Brokeback Mountain |
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Who Will Win: Crash |
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Why: See: Best Screenplay
(Adaptation). |
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Why: Crash jumps between
multiple story lines and then lamely brings them together -- which might
be confused for great editing and net a statuette for the film. |
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Visual
Effects |
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Art
Direction |
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King Kong |
- The Chronicles of Narnia: The
Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
- War of The Worlds
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Memoirs of
A Geisha |
- Good Night, and Good Luck
- Harry Potter
- And The Goblet of Fire
- King Kong
- Pride & Prejudice
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Who Will Win:
King Kong |
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Who Will Win:
Memoirs of A Geisha |
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Why: The best aspect of Jackson's
indulgent clout-cashing remake gets what it deserves. |
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Why: Suitably, a film with more
style than substance wins this category. |
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Costume Design |
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Makeup |
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Charlie
and The Chocolate Factory |
- Memoirs of A Geisha
- Mrs. Henderson Presents
- Pride & Prejudice
- Walk the Line
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The
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe |
- Cinderella Man
- Star Wars: Episode III:
Revenge Of The Sith
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Who Will Win: Memoirs of A Geisha |
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Who Will Win: The Chronicles of
Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe |
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Why: See: Art direction. But if
there were any justice, the wild psychedelic threads of Burton's
Chocolate Factory would own this group. |
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Why: The big Christmas hit is
fresher in minds of voters than Star Wars. |
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Sound Mixing |
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Sound
Editing |
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King Kong |
- The Chronicles of Narnia: The
Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
- Memoirs of a Geisha
-
Walk the Line
- War of the Worlds
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King Kong |
- Memoirs of A Geisha
- War of the Worlds
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Who Will Win: Walk the Line |
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Who Will Win:
King Kong |
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Why: This category's a toss-up,
with Line edging ahead as the frontrunner. |
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Why: Because this is where Kong
truly was King. |
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Original Song |
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Original Score |
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"It’s Hard
Out Here For A Pimp", Hustle & Flow |
- "In The Deep", Crash
- "Travelin’ Thru", Transamerica
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Brokeback
Mountain (Gustavo Santaollala) |
- The Constant Gardener (Alberto
Iglesias)
- Memoirs of A Geisha (John
Williams)
- Munich (John Williams)
- Pride & Prejudice (Dario
Marianell)
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Who Will Win: "Travelin’ Thru", Transamerica |
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Who Will Win:
Brokeback Mountain |
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Why: Hollywood embraces Dollywood,
meaning Mrs. Parton takes the gold. |
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Why: John Williams' two nominations
should cancel out, leaving the door open for winning team member
Santaollala. |
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Best
Animated Feature Film |
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Best
Foreign Language Film |
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Wallace &
Gromit In The Curse of The Were-Rabbit |
- Howl’s Moving Castle
- Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride
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Sophie
Scholl: The Final Days, Germany |
- Don’t Tell, Italy
- Joyeux Noël, France
-
Paradise Now, Palestine
- Tsotsi, South Africa
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Who Will Win:
Wallace & Gromit In The Curse of The Were-Rabbit |
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Who Will Win:
Paradise Now, Palestine |
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Why: Excellent choices all, but
look for Nick Park to claim yet another statuette for his stop-motion
artistry. Howl just wasn't seen and Burton's gloomy Bride
just isn't lovable enough for voters. |
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Why: Paradise Now is timely,
and from a region that isn't known for its filmmaking prowess. Which
gives it a freshness cachet the other films lack. |
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Post-Oscar Reaction: |
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14/20 for a sense-shattering 70% (A low
C in certain, politically insensitive classrooms).
CRASH WINS! CRASH WINS! Racism is finished. Thank goodness for
this one film to enlighten all of us on how to live in a politically
correct melting pot. We will never ever say a bad word or think an ill
thought about another human being, ever again. Promise. Please don’t
beat us up for being different.
Nice touch by the Daily Show staff for bringing political smear
ads to the Oscars.
Interpretive dance should be banished forever. (No offense was meant to
interpretive dancers with this cruel, insensitive remark.)
Jon Stewart did a nice job, but really didn’t unload with the wicked
barbs like his might have had not Crash been nominated.
Stewart’s best line: The one about Three 6 Mafia having an Oscar and
perennially snubbed Martin Scorsese having 0.
The show moved along at a decent clip, but perhaps there were a tad
too many montages for one evening.
Finally, is it possible that a worse film than A Beautiful Mind
and Million Dollar Baby could win Best Picture? Yes: Crash.
We can’t wait for the three-DVD deluxe set, complete with pacifier and
patented color-off eraser. Those wanting to inflict bodily harm on this
reviewer for daring to dislike Crash can e-mail us for a
convenient time and place to do so. We promise not to resist. Have
mercy, though, and let our shameful ignorance be our punishment.
Good night, and good riddance. |
