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Legion
Of The Dead
Olaf Ittenbach, Germany, 2000
Rating: 1.1 |
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Posted: November 19, 2002
In the prime of their respective careers, who do you think would win a fight
between Wilford Brimley and Norman Fell? Wilford would have the weight
advantage, but Norman is wiry. It's tough to call. I can waste my editor's
precious space here pondering such cosmic issues because Legion Of The Dead
is simply that awful. Take two guys on a desert trip, one a stoner, the other
doing his best Matthew Perry impression, and throw in a couple of dead guys in
bad suits going door to door asking victims how they would prefer to be killed
so that they can be "recruited" into the "legion" and there's your film. The
rest of the plot (what there is of it) is trivial. One of the dead guys tries to
steal the show with his "Stoogemania" physical comedy performance. He sticks a
knife through his hand, shoots himself in the groin, gets run over by a car, and
is finally victimized by an explosion. Bear in mind, all of this is done as
intentional slapstick. There is a semi-cool gunfight against zombiesque
creatures in a bar, but this does not even come close to saving the film.
There's also a "tall guy" antagonist who constantly seems out of place. If
nothing else, this film makes one realize what an astonishing performance Angus
Scrimm turned in as the "Tall Man" in Phantasm. I've seen Scrimm and the
bad guy here is no Scrimm. (By the way, do yourself a favor and revisit
Phantasm, one of the better attempts at low budget horror.) Legion Of The
Dead fails miserably as a horror flick and the attempts at campy humor only
dig it a deeper hole from which it can never emerge. It's never scary. It's
never funny. It's just consistently terrible in every conceivable aspect.


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