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The Boogens
James L. Conway, USA, 1982
Rating: 1.3 |
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Posted: November 05, 2002
First and foremost let me be clear about why I am reviewing this movie. I
like to say "Boogens." It's fun to say. If you don't agree then you're a
liar. If you can say "Boogens" without cracking a smile, then you are a
soulless wretch. Boogens, Boogens, Boogens, Boogens, and Boogens!
Unfortunately, saying the title over and over turns out to be the best part
of the film. All the elements of a bad horror film are here: a creepy old
man, an abandoned mine, chicks in tight jeans, obligatory nudity, bad
acting, a drawn-out plot you can guess long before it unfolds. All of these
can be overlooked, however. Why? Because you want one thing...BOOGENS!
There's one defining moment to this film: when the creepy, hairless Dr.
Zaius/Eddie Rabbit looking old man hears the creatures coming, and with
dyne-E-mite in one hand and a lighter in the other, exclaims "Booooogeennns"
in a broken, hollow voice. This moment stands forever on film along with
others such as "I am Spartacus", "Rosebud," and of course "Dude...Sweet!"
It's cinematic bliss when we, the audience, are there to see the actor as a
craftsman touch the pinnacle of perfection. Unfortunately, it is a long way
down from there. When the Boogens are finally revealed, they are...somewhat
amorphous yet puppet-like. They are not humanoid (a BIG mistake) but rather
resemble a cross between Lambchop and a turtle wearing a suit of raw liver.
They also have long tentacles with razor-sharp claws. I don't know what a
Boogen is, but this is no Boogen. This disappointing anti-climax cancels out
the scene with the old man, leaving you right back to where you
started...saying the word Boogens over and over. Boogens, Boogens, Boogens...
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