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Clemenza's Archived Top 10 Lists

Top 10 for October 2006

Posted: October 20, 2006

Clemenza views the Screech sex tape and weeps for the future of humanity.

Top 10 for July 2006: Fatal Obsessions

Posted: July 25, 2006

Clemenza obsesses over things sacred (Anna Falchi's derriere) and profane (Kim Jong Il's bedroom prowess).

Top 10 for 666

Posted: June 6, 2006

Clemenza gets born again while considering the Number of the Beast.

Top 10 for April 2006

Posted: April 25, 2006

Clemenza's thoughts gets edited by an artificial intelligence -- and the results are spectacular!

Top 10 for March 2006

Posted: March 27, 2006

Sex tapes, robots, Jennifer Tilly's rack, Scientologists -- or, as Clemenza calls it: Monday!

Top 10 for February 2006

Posted: February 22, 2006

Clemenza considers an indecent proposal from Willie Nelson.

Top 10 for January 2006

Posted: January 30, 2006

Clemenza attempts to save humanity from open-mindedness.

2005 Clemmy Awards

Posted: January 06, 2006

Clemenza hands out his annual awards and sums up the past year.

Top 10 for November 2005

Posted: November 23, 2005

Clemenza obsesses over fetishistic behaviors, scimitars and the sexual orientation of movie franchise robots.

Top 10 for October 2005

Posted: October 27, 2005

Clemenza obsesses over balls of all size, shape and configuration.

Top 10 for September 2005 -- Special Evacuation Observations Edition

Posted: September 24, 2005

Clemenza survives Hurricane Katrina and lives to rant about it.

Top 10 for August 2005

Posted: August 23, 2005

Clemenza inadvertently posits the terrifying potential of... ATOMIC PANTS.

Top 10 for July 2005

Posted: July 26, 2005

Clemenza couldn't care less if a Brontosaurus is really a mislabeled Apatosaurus.

Top 10 for June 2005

Posted: June 21, 2005

Clemenza ponders unionized dolphins, tightening Canadian border security, and Fergie.

Top 10 for May 2005

Posted: May 24, 2005

Star Wars, Cambodian midget warriors and "The Whizzinator" highlight Clemenza's latest Top 10.

Top 10 for April 2005

Posted: April 23, 2005

In this month's Top 10, actress Natasha Lyonne brings a whole new meaning to the term "puppy love".

Top 10 for March 2005

Posted: March 26, 2005

Clemenza imagines the gravity-defying possibilities of a Lunar-based Hooters.

Top 10 for February 2005

Posted: February 26, 2005

Clemenza goes ape-crazy. And who are we to blame him?

Top 10 for January 2005

Posted: January 24, 2005

Clemenza foretells the rise of ASIMO. But is anyone listening?

Top 10 for December 2004

Posted: December 23, 2004

Clemenza gazes upon the innate awesomeness of the Monster Thickburger.

Top 10 for November 2004

Posted: November 24, 2004

Clemenza bumps into old friend Ozzy Osbourne.

Top 10 for October 2004

Posted: October 19, 2004

Clemenza faces his worst fear: The Burger King.

Top 10 for September 2004

Posted: September 24, 2004

The B-movie expert ponders animal cruelty, Verne Troyer's sex life and other related subjects.

Top 10 for August 2004

Posted: August 25, 2004

Clemenza stares into the mirror, and sees the gulag that is his soul.

Top 10 for July 2004

Posted: July 21, 2004

Clemenza has a class reunion with the Sweathogs.

Top 10 for June 2004

Posted: June 22, 2004

Clemenza gets a little too chummy with Grimace.

Top 10 for May 2004

Posted: May 20, 2004

Clemenza and Miles Thirst join forces to promote tasty beverages.

Top 10 for April 2004

Posted: April 7, 2004

Clemenza's admiration for American Chopper rears its ugly head.

Top 10 for 2003

Posted: March 19, 2004

Clemenza boils 2003 down to ten essential observations.

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 Clemenza's Ratings Key:

 5.0: A drop of bliss

 4.0-4.9: Touchdown!
 3.0-3.9: Close, but...
 2.0-2.9: Box of Rocks
 1.1-1.9: Time bandit
 0.0-1.0: Soul scarring
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