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Clemenza's Corner (Top
10 for August 2004)
Posted: August 25, 2004
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Archived Top 10 Lists |
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 Editor's
Note: We here at Shaking Through World Headquarters are not
responsible for the opinions or, er, witticisms expressed by our
B-movie maven. We are pretty sure, though, that he's the only one who
even remembers Wishmaster. If you have issues with the
content (or quality) of this Top 10 List,
write the man himself. Or he'll just keep doing this, month after
ever-loving month. --
Kevin Forest Moreau, a.k.a. the Morris Day of Shaking Through |
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 10.
I just read that Saddam Hussein is writing poetry to pass the time
before he's burned alive and eaten by the Iraqi citizenry. Some of his
works include "Death To Bush," "Burn Bush Burn," "Saddam Hurt Bush," and
my personal favorite, "Scimitar In The Eye Of the Infidel Bush." Good to
see Saddam's keeping busy in the Big House. |
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 09.
There was a local news story about two men playing chess. No big deal,
right? Of course not. Not until one player (I can only presume the
loser) rammed his opponent's head through a window. How does this
happen, you ask? Remember the Chess Club in high school? You can only
take so many wedgies before one day you just snap. |
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 08.
Scientists have injected fat, lazy mice with a special hormone that turned
them into "super mice." This is why people say science has no practical
applications. What is a fat, lazy person going to do with a "super
mouse?" |
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 07.
Who can forget that esteemed 60 Minutes personality Mike Wallace
was recently cited for disorderly conduct? It turns out he was forcing
Morley Safer's head into a bowl of scalding spinach-and-artichoke dip
because Morley insisted that Budweiser is "less filling" while Wallace
declared that it "tastes great." |
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 06.
I happened to catch one of the Wishmaster films on cable last
night. Am I the only one who thinks that the evil genie looks like Norm
Macdonald? |
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 05.
Doctors have recently announced that maggots are making a "medical
comeback" in the treatment of certain diseases. Next stop: Leeches!
Check your HMO plans now, people! |
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 04.
Why do reporters covering news in war zones feel compelled to wear that
tan "action" field coat with the epaulets? Ever see Dan Rather with that
jacket? That's one hombre muy malo to be sure! |
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 03.
A man at a Filipino wedding "accidentally" touched the bride's behind. Two
witnesses to the offense took the man out of the building, drove him to
a remote location and killed him. But they didn't stop there, oh, no
indeed. These upstanding citizens then ate pieces of his flesh, and as a
bonus, served parts of the man to what I can only hope was an
unsuspecting wedding party. The moral of the story? Don't touch a
Filipino bride's ass. |
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 02.
We all answer to someone. We answer to our boss. He answers to his bosses.
They answer to their bosses. No matter who you are, at some point you
are brutally reminded of your position in the pecking order of life.
It's just like watching the video for "Jungle Love." At some point or
another, we are all Jerome to someone else's Morris Day. |
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 01.
Rick James is dead. One of the pioneers of funk and unlawful imprisonment
is with us no more. I can only hope that he is burning angels with a
crack pipe in heaven even as we speak. Rest in peace, bro. |
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