The Simpsons Movie
David Silverman, USA, 2007
Rating: 3.5

Fans of The Simpsons – whether they’re diehards who can rattle off the names of writers and show runners across the program’s lengthy run or more casual, occasional admirers – expect a lot from a big-screen adaptation of the long-running TV show. How could they not? The Simpsons stands as pop-cultural high-water mark for its deft satire, exuberant sight gags, unabashed crudity and, above all, its sharp wit. Even accounting for a recent (and precipitous) decline in quality, its 18-season track record is in itself a remarkable achievement, one with which any 90-minute feature would be hard-pressed to compete.

Inevitably, then, that long-anticipated movie version will disappoint a percentage of its target audience. (How could it not?) But for viewers who can’t list every episode’s title or aren’t familiar with behind-the-scenes personnel like Ian Maxtone-Graham, that disappointment is likely to be minor.
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Live Free or Die Hard
Len Wiseman, USA, 2007
Rating: 3.8

It’s been a pretty hectic couple of months. I was recently promoted to Editor in Chief at the weekly paper I’ve worked at for almost three years, and as you’ve no doubt noticed, Shaking Through has suffered as a result. I’m trying to get caught up with all the movies, books, comics and music I’ve experienced and meant to write about since May, but it’ll take awhile.

As busy as I’ve been, though, my average 13-plus hour day pales in comparison to the kind of overtime New York cop John McClane logs in the latest Die Hard installment. (How’s that for a segue?) (more…)

Transformers
Michael Bay, USA, 2007
Rating: 3.3

Let’s face it: Transformers is stupid. Always has been. Even during its heyday in the ‘80s, it was a hokey piece of pop-cultural flotsam designed to sell toys. The mythology, if you want to call it that, was/is bush league and amateurish. Sentient robots is one thing – call me a dork if you like, but I kind of like that idea. Sentient robots from a planet called Cybertron, who for some reason gather together under the banner of “Autobots” or “Decepticons” – sorry, but your average episode of Teletubbies is better thought-out than that.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Gore Verbinski, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.8

Give the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise this much credit, at least: It’s proven clever in its appropriation of character names and plot elements from disparate outposts of piratical and seafaring mythology, from the Flying Dutchman to the Kraken to Davy Jones’ locker to the Kraken. Andbecause the thing does have the word “Caribbean” right there in the title, it’s wisely thrown in a stereotypical voodoo priestess, to boot. But save for the occasional Jolly Roger or walking-the-plank reference, the series has turned a blind eyepatch to a crucial piece of freebooting lore – namely, that pirates are, well, pirates.

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Spider-Man 3
Sam Raimi, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.8

There’s a Saturday Night Live sketch from several years back that kept popping into my head during Spider-Man 3. It’s one of those Inside the Actors Studio bits with Well Ferrell, and to hammer home the impression of host James Lipton as a bombastic toady, guest host Tobey Maguire plays Dustin Diamond – that’s right, Screech from Saved by the Bell – as a developmentally arrested man-child whom Lipton, of course, treats like royalty.

Whether intentionally or not, Maguire pretty much recycles that performance for Spider-Man 3. The actor did a pretty decent job of conveying Peter Parker’s nerdy likeability in the first movie, but here he portrays Parker as a kind of cinematic descendent of Forrest Gump and Lennie from Of Mice and Men. His doughy features arranged into a constant mask of childlike wonder, he spends the first third or so of the movie walking around in a cloud of dopey obliviousness.

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Hot Fuzz
Edgar Wright, UK, 2007
Rating: 4.1

The key to enjoying Hot Fuzz, the British cop comedy by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright (the team behind the 2004 cult hit Shaun of the Dead) is to understand that it is not, strictly speaking, a parody. Yes, many references are made to big-budget Hollywood cop films (particularly Point Break and Bad Boys II), just as it was impossible to ignore the nods to George A. Romero’s zombie movies in Shaun of the Dead. But while there is some gentle nudging of the audience’s ribs concerning police-movie clichés, deconstructing the genre is not its sole (or even its main) purpose. Audiences who pay exorbitant ticket prices expecting a merciless evisceration of a genre overripe for parody may be disappointed by the explicit fondness Fuzz shows for its inspirations (yes, even Bad Boys II).

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Grindhouse
Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.9

Former audio/visual club geeks everywhere rejoiced when Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez announced their plans for Grindhouse, a double-feature homage to exploitation flicks complete with missing reels and cheesy fake movie trailers. Now, on the surface, this seems like a really refreshing idea with quite a bit of potential. In reality, it, or more accurately, half of it, just misses the boat all together.  (more…)

300
Zack Snyder, USA, 2007
Rating 4.9

If history has taught me one thing, it is that the pestilent onslaught of freakish hordes can only be repelled by those with a tangible understanding of freedom. Perhaps no finer example of this exists than the exploits of King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his 300 Spartans as they massacred wave after wave of Persian filth at the battle of Thermopylae. Some say that my stand against the local Blockbuster franchise in 1998 approaches this historic battle — alas, I was but one man who forgot to return American Ninja by its due date. Let’s just say that although I am no longer allowed in that store, I stood tall. (more…)

Black Snake Moan
Craig Brewer, USA, 2007
Rating: 3.6

Craig Brewer’s first movie, 2005’s Hustle & Flow, wasn’t so much a film about rap music as it was an exploration of the urge that pushes us to escape the dreariness of the everyday and strive for something better. Brewer’s follow-up, Black Snake Moan, is much more “about” a form of music (the blues, in this case) than its predecessor, but at the end of the day it’s also more concerned with urges — albeit of an entirely different sort. (more…)

Ghost Rider
Mark Steven Johnson, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.7

In Neil Peart’s recent book Roadshow, there’s a scene in which the Rush drummer encounters Nicolas Cage during a rare celebrity-filled after-party following one of the band’s shows. Cage confides in Peart that he’s struggling a bit in his career: blowing lines, things like that. In all his years as an actor he’s never had this problem before and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Neil’s too kind to say so (or maybe it doesn’t occur to him), but the solution seems obvious: Maybe if Cage chose his roles with a little more discretion, he’d find himself more personally invested in his work. “Hey, Nick,” you want to shout, “how about ix-naying crap like The Ant Bully or Captain Corelli’s Mandolin or that Wicker Man remake? How about a few more World Trade Centers mixed in with pay-the-mortgage projects like the upcoming National Treasure sequel? And for goodness’ sake, if you’re going to do a comic-book movie, how about you choose a project worthy of your talents?”

Ghost Rider, it should go without saying, is not that project. The character, a motorcycle-riding spirit of vengeance most notable for its flaming skull, has always been one of Marvel Comics’ B- or C-list properties, one that several creative teams haven’t been able to figure out what to do with. The character gets a new book every few years to keep the trademark viable, and it inevitably flames out. His love for motorcycles notwithstanding (and unflattering parallels to his recent career slide aside), Ghost Rider makes you think “Nic Cage” as much as Russell Crowe begs to be cast in a Gandhi remake. (more…)