If you’re into comic-book movies (and who isn’t these days?), you’ve probably already seen the clever “Hi, I’m a Marvel …” videos (parodying those increasingly annoying Mac/PC commercials) circulating around the Internet. They started a couple of months ago, but have been getting more and more attention lately, what with the release of Spider-Man 3. Anyway, it’s funny stuff.  

But the best humor always carries with it the cold bite of hard truth. To wit: Why is Marvel kicking DC’s butt so thoroughly in the superhero-movie sweepstakes?

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A poll conducted by ESPN and ABC News finds that 52 percent of baseball fans hope Barry Bonds doesn’t break the home-run record of 755 set by Hank Aaron in 1974. No surprise there — if there’s a more polarizing figure in any sport these days, I’d be hard-pressed to name him or her. The poll also finds that black fans are more than twice as likely as whites to root for Bonds — 74 percent to 28 percent. And 37 percent of black fans believe Bonds used steroids (compared to a whopping 76 percent of whites).

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By now you’ve probably heard that Courtney Love intends to auction off the effects of her late husband Kurt Cobain. In a recent interview she described her house as “a mausoleum” and says she still wears Cobain’s pajamas to bed. “How am I ever going to go form another relationship in my lifetime wearing Kurt’s pajamas?” she asks.

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By now you’ve heard — or at least heard about — the infamous Alec Baldwin voicemail message, which TMZ posted online yesterday. On it, Baldwin angrily berates his 11-year-old daughter Ireland for missing their scheduled phone call, threatens to fly from New York to Los Angeles (today, April 20) to “straighten her out,” accuses her of playing games with and humiliating him, and calls her a “rude, thoughtless little pig.” Just this morning, I’ve heard quite a few people say that they can never look at Baldwin in the same light again after hearing the tirade. To which I have to say: Hold the phone.

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It’s with extreme sadness that Shaking Through marks the passing of Kurt Vonnegut, inarguably one of the greatest writers in American literature. He died yesterday of brain injuries related to a recent fall.

There’s such a thing as damning someone with great praise, since phrases like “one of the greatest writers in American literature” often conjure images of “important” (i.e., stuffy) works.  There’s writing that calls attention to itself via its high-minded prose and academic meditations. There’s tweed-jacketed New England writing consumed with the idea of older men being attracted to younger women and fornicating like Rabbits outside the marriage bed (imagine that).

And then there’s Vonnegut’s writing, which was almost anti-”writing”: (more…)

Damn — and we were so sure that Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband Frederic Prinz von Anhalt was Dannielynn’s father! But it turns out that Gabor’s creepy sixty-something caretaker is not the baby-daddy, despite his claim to a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith. That honor goes to Larry Birkhead, to the disappointment of Smith’s lawyer Howard K. Stern.

But aren’t we all Dannielynn’s daddy? We’ve all spent an inordinate amount of time clucking over the paternity of the late model’s infant child. (more…)

I’m not a fan of Don Imus. I was always a Howard Stern guy, back when I lived in a city that carried Stern’s terrestrial radio show, and being a Stern fan pretty much made being an Imus guy impossible. I’ve had occasion to catch bits and pieces of Imus’ show as it’s simulcast on MSNBC, and have seen nothing to make me change my opinion. (To be fair, watching radio on TV just doesn’t work — it certainly didn’t do Stern any favors.)

That said, Imus absolutely, positively should not resign his post, as the Rev. Al Sharpton demands. Is Imus a good guy, as he says? Probably so. Is he sincere in his contrition? Again, probably so. Was what he did — calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team a bunch of “nappy-headed hos” — stupid, racist, insensitive, horrible, even unconscionable? Absolutely. Should he bow to pressure from Sharpton and quit? No way, José. (more…)

Damn, Sheryl Crow doesn’t care for American Idol. “Let’s face it, it undermines art in every way and promotes commercialism,” she’s quoted as telling Ladies Home Journal. Well, I only followed Idol regularly during its second season, and that was because of the girl I was dating at the time, so I’m not defending the show here. But c’mon, Sheryl, are you trying to write my material for me? (more…)

The Village Voice’s annual Pazz & Jop critics’ poll came out this week, and apparently the nation’s rock critics think Bob Dylan’s Modern Times was the best album of 2006. Well, actually, as the Voice’s Music Editor Rob Harvilla points out, “He is George W. Bush. Lost the popular vote, but prevailed via the fine print.” Dylan won on points (1123) but only made the cut on 94 ballots, as opposed to TV on the Radio, whose Return to Cookie Mountain won the respect of 99 critics (including our own Laurence Station) but tallied only 1109 points.

Regardless of the hows and wherefores, Dylan is the winner, at least according to 94 critics (out of a total of 494). Which, to my mind, doesn’t do a whole lot to dispel the notion that critics are out of touch with the audiences they’re supposed to serve. (more…)

The ongoing flap over Cartoon Network’s “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” marketing mishap last week has reached the ugly and inevitable point where neither side looks good no matter what they do.

Take yesterday’s news that Turner Broadcasting and Interference, Inc. (the guerilla marketing company that planted the electronic devices that caused such an uproar) are paying the city of Boston $2 million for its trouble. It’s a smart move: It’s the classy thing to do. Express regret, apologize for any unintended consequences, offer to help, reimburse for expenses, etc. But Boston — or at least Mayor Thomas Menino — continues to come across as such a petulant brat that Turner looks spineless for caving into a child’s temper tantrum. (more…)