The Ultimates 2, Vol. 2: Grand Theft America
Mark Millar, Bryan Hitch
Marvel, 2007
Rating: 4.0

The Boys, Vol. 1: Name of the Game
Garth Ennis, Darick Robertson
Dynamite, 2007
Rating: 3.5

Since superhero stories are at heart power fantasies, themes of unchecked power and corruption come pretty easily – especially in this day and age, in which America’s involvement in Iraq is painted as either selfless heroism or megalomania, depending on which divisive political commentator’s beliefs you subscribe to. That theme reared its potentially unwieldy head in a big way in the previous installment of The Ultimates, and it rests at the very core of The Boys, Garth Ennis’ and Darick Robertson’s gleefully aggressive tale of a covert group tasked with reining in the excesses of the super-powered set.

But in the end, both the first collection of The Boys and the final collection of Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s Ultimates run suggest that for both titles, questions of absolute power and responsibility are just so much window-dressing, serving as either justification or garnish for tableaus of violent action calculated to warm the heart of any red-blooded adolescent male.  (more…)

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Gore Verbinski, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.8

Give the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise this much credit, at least: It’s proven clever in its appropriation of character names and plot elements from disparate outposts of piratical and seafaring mythology, from the Flying Dutchman to the Kraken to Davy Jones’ locker to the Kraken. Andbecause the thing does have the word “Caribbean” right there in the title, it’s wisely thrown in a stereotypical voodoo priestess, to boot. But save for the occasional Jolly Roger or walking-the-plank reference, the series has turned a blind eyepatch to a crucial piece of freebooting lore – namely, that pirates are, well, pirates.

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Spider-Man 3
Sam Raimi, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.8

There’s a Saturday Night Live sketch from several years back that kept popping into my head during Spider-Man 3. It’s one of those Inside the Actors Studio bits with Well Ferrell, and to hammer home the impression of host James Lipton as a bombastic toady, guest host Tobey Maguire plays Dustin Diamond – that’s right, Screech from Saved by the Bell – as a developmentally arrested man-child whom Lipton, of course, treats like royalty.

Whether intentionally or not, Maguire pretty much recycles that performance for Spider-Man 3. The actor did a pretty decent job of conveying Peter Parker’s nerdy likeability in the first movie, but here he portrays Parker as a kind of cinematic descendent of Forrest Gump and Lennie from Of Mice and Men. His doughy features arranged into a constant mask of childlike wonder, he spends the first third or so of the movie walking around in a cloud of dopey obliviousness.

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Civil War
Mark Millar, Steve McNiven
Marvel, 2007
Rating: 3.0

Civil War: Amazing Spider-Man
J. Michael Straczynski, Ron Garney
Marvel, 2007
Rating: 4.3

As its individual issues hit the stands in pamphlet form last year (and earlier this year), the episodic nature of Marvel’s massive Civil War event helped add to the excitement.  By now you’ve heard the set-up: The New Warriors, a team of C-list superheroes with their own reality TV show, engage some super-powered fugitives in a battle that goes horribly wrong when the villain Nitro detonates, killing hundreds and destroying a large part of Stamford, Connecticut.

The first two chapters, especially, are a doozy. The tragedy sparks community outrage leading to the passage of a super-powered registration act, which splits the hero community down the middle and sends Captain America on the lam to head up a resistance movement. In order to persuade other heroes to sign up, Iron Man convinces Spider-Man to unmask on live television. Sounds like a rip-roaring yarn, doesn’t it?

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I always thought The X-Files was overrated, and I’ve never liked its stars, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. To this day, any possible appreciation I might conceivably have for their current work is marred by the memory of seemingly constant bickering about how miserable they were to be locked into the show that made them famous. Not that either one of them has landed a lot of work after the series ended — gee, do you think there’s any correlation there?

 Now Gillian Anderson (here’s a photo of the only time she’s ever looked even remotely attractive) is back publicly badmouthing the very show that made anyone care what she might ever have to say. Even as Duchovny seems to be endorsing the idea of another X-Files movie, his dour co-star is haughtily bitching about how much she hated the whole experience. 

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No doubt about it, 2006 was a good year for comics, as this look back at the year that was proves. Whether you’re into hard-hitting superhero action, thought-provoking political commentary, imaginative science fiction or compelling looks at unlikeable but intriguing real-life folks, there’s something here that’s bound to resonate. If something here strikes your fancy, do yourself a favor: Go buy it — and read it.

1. Pride of Baghdad (Vertigo/DC) 
Brian K. Vaughan uses the notion of wild animals loose in the streets of a bomb-ravaged city to explore concepts of freedom, perception and the cruelty of war without falling into sermonizing.  (more…)

Eddie Griffin — actor, comedian, Man of the Square Table — environmental activist? Apparently so. The Undercover Brother thespian did his little part to reduce fuel emissions yesterday when he wrecked a Ferrari Enzo yesterday. Griffin was practicing for a charity race to promote the upcoming film Redline when he careened it off of a concrete barrier. The car, valued at $1.5 million, belonged to Daniel Sadek, who is producing the film. Sadek told the Associated Press that the Enzo was beyond repair. “Undercover Brother’s good at karate and all the rest of that, but the brother can’t drive,” Griffin said.

It’s worth noting that only 400 Enzos were ever made: (more…)

 So Dallas Austin has apologized, sort of, to Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone for comments made in a video clip that’s been circulating around the Internet. Or has he?

In the video (which has since been pulled from YouTube), he discusses having sex with Aguilera and asserts that she and Stone sleep with producers in exchange for music for their songs. In a statement released to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, however, he doesn’t refute those claims. He also rather churlishly defends his comments, stating that he “felt justified” in talking about them in this way and that his comments “were purely an act of retaliation, not of malice or cruel intent.”

Oh, well, then — that clears everything right up! You were retaliating — but you didn’t intend to be cruel or malicious! Well, of course! After all, retribution — especially the kind that could cause serious harm to a person’s reputation regardless of its veracity — is perfectly okay! I mean, what’s more human than taking revenge on a singer by going on at length about a young woman’s sexual proclivities, implying that she’s a slut or a ho — while simultaneously propping yourself up as a stud for having partaken of her wares? After all, you weren’t acting out of malice or anything. Seriously, Dallas, who’s your publicist? Because you need to fire them for letting you make even more of an ass out of yourself.

C’mon, dude, man up. If you’re going to apologize, then say you’re sorry and leave it at that. Don’t pull this passive-aggressive B.S. where you’re apologizing out of one side of your mouth and saying “Yeah, but they deserved it” out of the other.

Read Dallas’ non-apology after the jump.  (more…)

 … at least according to hitmaking producer (and all-around class act) Dallas Austin, as revealed in this appearance on something called Rowdy TV. (Editor’s note: The video has been pulled from YouTube since this was originally posted.) In it, he also claims that Aguilera and Joss Stone have sex with producers in exchange for music for their songs.

So the inference here is that it’s skanky to sleep with producers for tracks (and to sleep with their friends) — but it’s perfectly okay to avail yourself of a pop singer willing to trade sex for tracks. Nice double standard there, D.A. 

If this guy didn’t have friends in high places, with any luck he’d still be wasting away in a posh Dubai detention facility. Wonder how Sen. Orrin Hatch, Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones feel now about having pulled strings to get Austin out of there. Great work, fellas!

Eddie Van Halen entered a rehab facility on Thursday, reportedly for alcohol problems. Those same problems, and not friction with David Lee Roth, are rumored to be the reason that a reported Van Halen reunion tour was recently derailed. “I have always and will always feel a responsibility to give you my best. At the moment I do not feel that I can give you my best,” Van Halen says in a statement on the band’s Web site. “That’s why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110% that I feel I owe you and want to give you.”

I think that bar is a little high, given Diver Down, Balance and Van Halen III. In fact, some would argue that he hasn’t given us his best since 1984. Still, we wish Eddie a 110% recovery.