Grindhouse
Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino, USA, 2007
Rating: 2.9

Former audio/visual club geeks everywhere rejoiced when Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez announced their plans for Grindhouse, a double-feature homage to exploitation flicks complete with missing reels and cheesy fake movie trailers. Now, on the surface, this seems like a really refreshing idea with quite a bit of potential. In reality, it, or more accurately, half of it, just misses the boat all together.  (more…)

300
Zack Snyder, USA, 2007
Rating 4.9

If history has taught me one thing, it is that the pestilent onslaught of freakish hordes can only be repelled by those with a tangible understanding of freedom. Perhaps no finer example of this exists than the exploits of King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his 300 Spartans as they massacred wave after wave of Persian filth at the battle of Thermopylae. Some say that my stand against the local Blockbuster franchise in 1998 approaches this historic battle — alas, I was but one man who forgot to return American Ninja by its due date. Let’s just say that although I am no longer allowed in that store, I stood tall. (more…)

Back in grade school, the coach used to make us run track. We were split up into two teams. Now, as fate would have it, there was one team of fairly fast runners of which I was lucky to be a member. I certainly wasn’t the fastest, but I made sure I wasn’t the weak link that sank our sleek running juggernaut. The other team was also filled with young speedsters, each one just as fast as our own members. However, they had something we did not. They had Crayton.

On the surface, Crayton was not a bad kid. He was likable enough, seemed interested in winning, and, wedgies aside, was glad to be a part of the group. The problem was: Crayton just could not run. (more…)